May 21st, 2004

am i an alcoholic or am i?

bago ang lahat... hug muna sakin!





*HUGS* TOTAL!
give DOLLinEXILE more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own



its about time that i write about this.
as if it was a serious matter.

i can still feel the bitter, tangy taste of beer on my lips. oh, that cold & bubbly beverage that makes you go, "WHEW HA!" (i sounded like a drooling pervert there.) i dont really know why people, including myself, got into this habit of drinking beer once in a while.

is it for the taste? (which surely is very unappealing to many) or is it for the sensation brought about by the "tama" on it?
well, as for me, (or myself, i should say) the litro bottle of red horse was the one who carried me through my lowest of the low times. consider myself as a drunkard. a fuckin sober. it was as if a friend. a true friend that listens more and speaks less. (in it's case, obviously IT DOESNT SPEAK TO YOU. matakot ka na pag bigla kang kinausap ) i always dreamed of the time when our paths would meet again,,, and i would be drowned again in misery... getting that emo feeling again in me. even if there was nothing to be "emo" about.

of course, the concept of drinking is not for failures alone. it also goes hand in hand with celebrations. like in birthdays. a concrete example.

there are times that you get so fucked up drunk because youre fucked up happy. all people that surrounds you are rowdy, puke-smelling people, but that doesnt make your excitement less. (that is, if nobody pukes on you) it makes you want to laugh more and fart more.

there goes the social drinkers, like the conio-conia colehiyalas. there the type that you often see dancing shamelessly on the dance floor now, and hugging the toilet bowl later. i get sentimental at times... because they abuse "the beer" (savor the taste, drink, then puke? how's that for a date?) little are the chances that they would be my true-blue drinking buddies.

hay. so much for that. for now, ill give in to my urge, go to the nearby store, and treat myself a nice, ice-cold, red horse. a bottle wouldnt hurt me anyways...

Currently listening to: BEER by ORGASM ADDICTS
Currently reading: YOUNGBLOOD 2.0
Currently feeling: wobble wobble
Posted by doll_in_exile at 10:02 AM as a stickied, favorite post | 13 left the wing

October 27th, 2004

this is a zoology project. nothing to fuzz about.

INTRODUCTION

Although it cannot be stated with assurance whoever began the study of sectional anatomy, it is certain that the method was in use in the early sixteenth century. Examples of anatomical sections can be found in the anatomical drawings of the Italian genius, anatomist, and artist, Leonardo da Vinci. It is also possible that Vesalius, the great Flemish anatomist, was the first to represent, in transverse sections, the brain in situation.

Anatomy deals with the structure of our body. Our body is both a physical and a chemical machine all at the same time. The body works in a certain extent and sometimes bound by rules as to how they will operate. Each part of our body is engineered to do a particular job. And every job comes with a particular structure for it to run. And the rest is history…

The study of human anatomy answers all the various questions about the human life form. This defines the characteristics and needs common to all living things and the manner in which the human body is organized to accomplish life processes. The maintenance of life and the levels of organization is needed to the focus of human anatomy.

We are all living organisms. Therefore, we need to understand our behavior better and ourselves. Through the study of human anatomy, we can learn how our body works; how it reacts to diseases; how we resemble or differ from our siblings or parents and many more.

As indicated above, the study of human anatomy is extremely vital in this world, because through it, we can learn how to maintain our health, prevent diseases, or even help our body function better.




SYNTHESIS

Anatomy is the study of organization. Observation is used to see the sizes and relationships of body parts. Physiology is the study of how a structure (which may be a cell, an organ, or an organ system) functions or works. Structure determines what functions can occur. Therefore, if the structure changes, the function must also change. These three studies goes hand in hand with each other. There are six levels of structural organization; atoms combine, forming the unit of life, the cell. Cells are grouped into tissues, which in turn are arranged in specific ways to form organs. A number of organs form an organ system, which performs a specific function for the body. Together, all organism must be able to maintain it’s boundaries, move, respond to stimuli, digest nutrients and excrete wastes, carry on metabolism, reproduce itself, and grow. Survival needs include food, oxygen, water, appropriate temperature, and normal atmospheric pressure. Extreme lowness or highness of these factors could be very harmful. Body functions interact to maintain homeostasis, or a relatively stable internal environment within the body. Homeostasis is necessary for survival and good health.

Matter is anything that occupies space and has mass. It exists in three states: solid, liquid, and gas. Energy on the other hand, is the capacity to do work or put matter into motion. Energy has two types. The kinetic (active) and the potential (stored) work capacities. Energy forms are inconvertible, but some energy is always unusable in such transformations. Atoms are composed of three subatomic particles: protons, electrons, and neutrons. Because all atoms are electrically neutral, the number of the protons in any atom is equal to its number of electrons. A molecule is the smallest unit resulting from the binding of two or more atoms. If the atoms are different, a molecule of a compound is formed. Chemical bonds are energy relationships. Electrons in the outermost energy level (valence shell) of the reacting atoms are active in the bonding. Ions are formed when valence-shell electrons are completely transferred from one atom to another. The oppositely charged ions formed attract each other, forming an ionic bond. Ionic bonds are common in salts. Chemical reactions involve the formation or breaking of chemical bonds. The writing of a chemical equation, which provides information about the atomic composition and products, indicates them. In decomposition reactions, larger molecules are broken down into simpler molecules or atoms and its bonds are broken. Exchange reactions involve both the making and breaking of bonds. Other atoms replace atoms. Inorganic compounds making up living matter do not contain carbon. They include water, salts, acids, and bases. Organic compounds are carbon-containing compounds that comprise living matter. Carbohydrates, lipids, proteins, and nucleic acids are examples. They all contain carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen. Proteins and nucleic acids also contain substantial amounts of nitrogen.

A cell is composed of primarily of four elements—carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen—plus many trace elements. Living matter is over 60 percent water. The major building material of the cell is protein. Cells have three major regions—nucleus, cytoplasm, and plasma membrane. All cells exhibit irritability, digest foods, excrete wastes, and are able to reproduce, grow, move, and metabolize. Transport of substances through the cell membrane includes passive transport processes, diffusion and filtration; active transport processes use energy provided by the cell. Osmotic pressure, which reflects the solute concentrate of a solution, determines whether cells gain or lose water. Cell division has two phases: mitosis (nuclear division) and cytokinesis (division of the cytoplasm). Protein synthesis involves both DNA and the RNA.

Epithelium is the covering, lining, and the glandular tissue. Its functions include protection, absorption, and secretion. Epithelia are named according to arrangement and cell shape. Connective tissue is the supportive, protective, and the binding tissue. It is characterized by the presence of a nonliving, extracellular matrix produced and secreted by the cells and varies in amount and consistency. Nervous tissue is composed of supporting cells and irritable cells called the neurons that are highly specialized to receive and transmit nerve impulses and supporting cells. Muscle tissue is specialized to contract, or shorten, which causes movement. There are three types—skeletal (attached to the skeleton), cardiac (attached to the heart), and smooth (on the walls of hollow organs).

Skin functions include protection of the deeper tissue from chemicals, bacteria, bumps, and drying; regulation of the body temperature through radiation and sweating; and synthesis of defensive proteins and vitamin D. The cutaneous sensory receptors are located in the skin. The skin is thick, resilient, and well hydrated in youth but loses its elasticity and thins as aging occurs. Skin cancer is a major threat to skin exposed to excessive sunlight.

Bones support and protect body organs; serve as levers for muscles to pull on to cause movement at joints; store calcium, fats, and other substances for the body; and contain red marrow, the site of red cell production. Cranial and facial bones form the skull. Eight cranial bones protect the brain: frontal, occipital, ethmoid, and sphenoid bones, and the pairs of parietal and temporal bones. The 14 facial bones are all paired except for the vomer and mandible. The hyoid bone, not really a skull bone is supported in the neck by ligaments. Joints hold bones together and allow movement of the skeleton and falls into three functional categories: synarthroses (immovable), amphiathroses (slightly movable), and diathroses (freely movable).

Skeletal muscle forms the muscles attached to the skeleton, which moves the limbs and other body parts. Its cells are long, striated, and multinucleate. Skeletal muscle fibers are subject to voluntary control. Connective tissue coverings enclose and protect the muscle fibers and increase the strength of skeletal muscles. Skeletal muscles make up the muscular system. All skeletal muscle cells are stimulated by motor neurons. When the neurons releases a neurotransmitter, the permeability of sarcolemma changes, allowing sodium ions to enter the muscle cell. This produces an electrical current flows across the entire sarcolemma, resulting in release of calcium ions from the SR. All muscles are attached to bones at two points. The origin is the immovable attachment; the insertion is the movable bony attachment. The contraction occurs, the insertion moves toward the origin. Muscles of the head fall into two groups, the muscles of the facial expression include the frontalis, orbicularis oris and oculi and zygomaticus. The chewing muscles are the masseter, temporalis, and the buccinator, which is also a muscle of facial expression.
The organization of the nervous system has two parts: structural is all the nervous system structures are classified as a part of the central nervous system or the CNS and the functional which is the motor nerves of the CNS are classified on the basis of whether they stimulate skeletal muscle or smooth/cardiac muscle and glands. The brain is located within the cranial cavity of the skull and consists of the cerebral hemispheres, diencephalons, brain stem structures, and cerebellum. The bones of the skull and vertebral column are the most external protective structures of the central nervous system. A nerve is a bundle of neuron processes wrapped in connective tissue coverings.

There are four external/accessory structures of the eye—the extrinsic eye muscles, the lacrimal apparatus, the eyelids, and the conjunctiva. The ear is divided into three major areas—the outer ear, the middle ear, and the inner ear. The olfactory (sense of smell) receptors are located in the superior aspect of each nasal cavity. Sniffling helps to bring more air over the olfactory muscles. The gustatory (sense of taste) cells are located in the taste buds, primarily on the tongue. The four major taste sensations are sweet, salt, sour, and bitter.

The endocrine system are to maintain homeostasis in the body by releasing chemicals, called hormones. The major processes controlled by hormones are reproduction; growth and development; mobilization of body defenses against stressors; maintenance of electrolyte, water, and the nutrient balance of the blood; and the regulation of cellular metabolism and energy balance. The pituitary gland is about the size of a grape and has two functional lobes: the anterior pituitary (glandular tissue) and the posterior pituitary (nervous tissue). The thyroid gland is located at the base of the throat just anterior the Adam’s apple. It consist of tow lobes connected by the isthmus. The thyroid gland produces two hormones; thyroid hormone and calcitonin. The thyroid hormone is actually two iodine-containing hormones: thyroxine and triiodothyronine. Together, thyroid hormone controls the rate at which glucose is burned (or oxidized) and turned into body heat and chemical energy. Every cell in the body is a target for this hormone because they all depend on a continuous supply of energy. Calcitonin, or thyrocalcitonin, decreases calcium levels by causing calcium to be deposited in the bones. The parathyroid glands are tiny masses of glandular tissue found on the posterior surface of the thyroid gland. There are two lobes on each gland, and these four lobes secrete parathyroid hormone or parathormone. This hormone acts as a counter to calcitonin. When calcium levels drop in the blood, it breaks down bone and releases calcium into the blood. The adrenal glands rest above the kidneys. Although it looks like one gland, like the pituitary gland, it has both glandular (cortex) and neural tissue (medulla) parts.

Blood id the fluid of life. Transporting oxygen from the lungs to the body tissue and carbon dioxide from the body tissue to the lungs. Blood is the fluid of growth, transporting nourishment from digestion and hormones from glands throughout the body. Blood is the fluid of health, transporting disease fighting substances to the tissue and waste to the kidneys. Red blood cells and white blood cells are responsible for nourishing and cleansing the body. Since the cells alive, they too need nourishment. Vitamins and minerals keep the blood healthy. The blood cells have a definite life cycle, just as all living organisms do.
The cardiovascular system includes the heart and the blood vessels. The heart pumps blood, and the blood vessels channel and deliver it throughout the body. Arteries carry blood filled with nutrients away from the heart to all parts of the body. The blood is sometimes compared to a river, but the arteries are more like a river in reverse. Arteries are thick-walled tubes with a circular covering of yellow, elastic fibers, which contain a blood down. This pressure can be felt in the art and the wrist – it is the pulse. Eventually, arteries divide into smaller arterioles and then into even smaller capillaries, the smallest of all blood vessels. One arteriole can serve a hundred capillaries. Here, in every tissue of every organ, blood’s work is done when it gives up what the cells need and takes away the waste products that they don’t need. Now the river comparison really does apply. Capillaries join together to form small veins, which flow into larger main veins, and these deliver deoxygenated blood back to the heart. Veins, unlike arteries, have thin, slack walls, because the blood has lost the pressure which forced it out of the heart, so the dark, reddish-blue blood which flows through the veins on its way to the lings oozes along very slowly on its way to be reoxygenated. Back at the heart, the veins enter a special vessel, called the pulmonary arteries, into the wall at the right side of the heart. It flows along the pulmonary arteries to the lungs to collect oxygen, then right back to the heart’s left side to begin its journey around the body again.

The lymphatic system serves as a slow flowing, low pressure drainage system that collects a small portion of the interstitial fluid from throughout the body and returns it to the bloodstream. The throracic duct arises anterior to the second lumbar vertebra as enlarged sac, beginning as the cisterna chili. This sac-like lymphatic mass collects lymph from lower limbs of the body as well as the digestive system. Unlike the circulatory systems, the lymphatic system lacks any central “heart” like organ to pump lymph throughout the lymph vessels. Instead, the lymphatic system depends on muscular movement, breathing, and simple gravity to move lymph fluid throughout the body. However, the thoracic duct does not contain smooth muscle (the same muscle type that exist in the lower digestive system and the arterial system) in order to aid lymph flow. Thus, frequent movement is critical for humans to properly move lymph and prevent lymph fluid build-up in certain areas of the body.

The digestive system is the part of the body that digests food we eat everyday. There is a long process to digest food and it is not that simple. There are many procedures with organs, tubes, and other parts. Digestion starts with the mouth. Food is put into it and chewed up by the teeth. The teeth chews the food into small pieces and travels down the esophagus with the help of mucus and muscle contractions. After moving the esophagus, the food reaches the stomach. Here, cells in the stomach lining release concentrated hydrochloric acid. This acid can easily break up the stomach if it wasn’t able for the help of the thick coating mucus. The food spend up to four hours in the stomach. The food moves to the small intestine. The rest of digestion takes place in the entrance of the small intestine. The beginning 25 cm of the small intestine is the duodenum. This is where carbohydrates and proteins are broken down. The rest of the 90% of the small intestine takes in nutrients and proteins in digestion and puts them in your blood. Water is also absorbed. Products of digestion are absorbed into the bloodstream during three to six hours in the small intestine. Secretions from the liver and pancreas break down additional food. Molecules absorbed into the bloodstream first go to the liver. The liver remove extra glucose from the bloodstream and stores it. Last, your food moves to the large intestine, compacts this indigestible material, and gets rid of it. It finally leaves the body in the rectum and anus as feces.

The structure of the urinary tract includes: the kidneys, two ureters, (tubes leading from the kidneys to the bladder), and the urethra, a tube leading from the bladder to the exterior of the body. The urinary tract is a little like a plumbing system, with special pipes that allows water and salts to flow through them. The kidneys make up a filter system for the blood, reabsorbing almost 99% of the fluid into the blood, and sending only two to four pints of waste (urine) into the bladder for storage until it can be disposed of. The kidneys allow the blood to keep glucose, salts, and minerals after cleansing it of poisonous materials which will be passed out in the urinary tract. Urine is produced in the kidneys and trickles down twenty-four hours a day through ten to twelve inch long tubes called ureters, which connect the kidneys to the bladder. The ureters are about one-fourth inch in diameter and their muscular walls contract to make waves of movement to be conveniently disposed of. It also closes openings into the ureters so that urine cannot flow back into the kidneys. The tube through which the urine flows out of the body is called urethra.

The reproductive systenm is a term applied to the group of plant or animal organs that are necessary that are accessory to the reproductive processes. The basic units of sexual reproduction are the male and female germ cells. This article deals with the organs within which the germ cells of animals mature and are stored, the organs through which they are transported in the process of producing a new individual, and accessory glandular organs. When the embryo of any sexually reproducing animal is undergoing cell division, certain cells, known as primordial germ cells, which are produced by such division, remain in an undifferentiated state. Cells other than primordial germ cells are known as vegetative cells or somatic cells; these cells become differentiated into tissues and organs.

CORRELATION TO THE FIELD
Modern psychology can also be traced to the study of physiology, a branch of biology that studies living organisms and their parts and medicine. In the 19th century, physiologists began studying the human brain and nervous system, paying close attention to the topic of sensation. For example, in the 1850s and 1860s German scientist Hermann von Helmholtz studied sensory receptors in the eye and ear, investigating topics such as the speed of neural impulses, color vision, hearing, and space perception. Another important German scientist, Gustav Fechner, founded psychophysics, the study of the relationship between physical stimuli and our subjective sensations of those stimuli. Building on the work of his fellow citizen Ernst Weber, Fechner developed a technique for measuring people's subjective sensations of various physical stimuli. He sought to determine the minimum intensity level of a stimulus that is needed to produce a sensation.
Psychology overlaps with other sciences that study behavior and mental processes. Certain parts of the field share much with the biological sciences, especially physiology, the biological study of the functions of living organisms. Like physiologists, many psychologists study the inner workings of the body from a biological perspective. However, psychologists usually focus on the activity of the brain and nervous system. Today, many psychologists work in the emerging area of health psychology, the application of psychology to the support of physical health and the prevention and treatment of illness. Researchers in this area have shown that human health and well-being depends on both biological and psychological factors. Many psychologists in this area study psychophysiological disorders (also called psychosomatic disorders), conditions that are brought on or influenced by psychological states, most often stress. These disorders include high blood pressure, headaches, asthma, and ulcers. Researchers have discovered that chronic stress is associated with an increased risk of coronary heart disease. In addition, stress can compromise the body's immune system and increase susceptibility to illness. Health psychologists also study how people cope with stress. They have found that people who have family, friends, and other forms of social support are healthier and live longer than those who are more isolated. Other researchers in this field examine the psychological factors that underlie smoking, drinking, drug abuse, risky sexual practices, and other behaviors harmful to health.
Biopsychologists interested in the links between brain and behavior use a variety of specialized techniques in their research. One approach is to observe and test patients who have suffered damage to a specific region of the brain to determine what mental functions and behaviors were affected by that damage. British-born neurologist Oliver Sacks has written several books in which he describes case studies of brain-damaged patients who exhibited specific deficits in their speech, memory, sleep, and even in their personalities. A second approach is to physically alter the brain and measure the effects of that change on behavior. The alteration can be achieved in different ways. For example, animal researchers often damage or destroy a specific region of a laboratory animal's brain through surgery. Other researchers might spark or inhibit activity in the brain through the use of drugs or electrical stimulation.
RECOMMENDATION
Although the book was knowledgeably written, still it has some flaws. In it’s 4th revision, Elaine Marieb had unfailingly provided students with ample knowledge in the field of Human Anatomy. Her book offers intricate details and illustrations for better understanding but, the supplementary questions for review are not that useful because of the summary that she put immediately after it. She should have put the questions every end of the topic and then summarize the whole chapter after. Writing a good book that will be the use of every student studying Human Anatomy is not a walk in the park.
Posted by doll_in_exile at 05:27 AM | 1 left the wing

June 6th, 2004

read on.

1) First Grade Teacher: ms. sangalang
2) Last words you said: ano?
3) Last song you sang: "punk rock 101" by bowling for soup
4) Last person you hugged: that was days ago... my beau
5) Last thing you laughed at: driving lessons
6) Last time you said 'I love you': 5 minutes ago
7) Last time you cried: 2 weeks ago
8) What's in your CD player: cog ep
9) What colour socks are you wearing: none
10) What's under your bed: laundry
11) What time did you wake up today: 8:30
12) Current taste: after taste of cigarettes
13) Current hair: i got bangs!
14) Current clothes: white shirt with a cross in it and a brown curduroy pants
15) Current annoyance: people and dog shit
16) Current longing: to go to alvin's birthday-cum-inuman party
17) Current desktop picture: bassist of a local band
18) Current worry: walang pang-inom sa birthday ko
21) Current favourite article of clothing: ukay-ukay bondi surf shirt coz people tell me that i look thin on it.
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: Eyes and lips. best combo ever
23) Last CD that you bought: does vcd count? aw... texas chainsaw massacre
24) Favourite place to be: friends place and gigs
25) Least favourite place: school and the library
26) Time you wake up in the morning: ngayon bakasyon... 11-12 noon
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: definitely drums
28) Favourite color: red and black
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: i still dont know...
30) How tall are you: 5'4"
31) Current favourite word/saying: why bother?
32) Favourite book(s): literary folios... (geekY)
34) One person from the past you wish you could go back and talk to: vincent mendoza
35) Favourite day: friday
36) Where do you want to go: to alvin's place
37) What is your career going to be like: exciting with diffent kinds of crazy people around me and FOOD!
39) What kind of car will you have: a beetle?! or a mini??
40) Type a line you remember from any book: huh (?)
41) A random lyric: there's only one word that describes you and that's a hypocrite... choke by kittie
42) Identify some things surrounding your computer: mouse,monitor, speakers, tv... blah... blah..

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? my stepmom
2. What is your weapon of choice? pistol or machine gun? my own weapon
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? i definitely would... depends upon the situation
4. How about of the same sex? of course! i easily get pissed by girls...
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? i really dont know...

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? pluck my eyebrows
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? about 12 noon
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact: my childhood sweetheart... wushu... seriously, vincent mendoza
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? I ALWAYS MAKE LAME EXCUSES!
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? yes, especially when it's about food...
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? i never visited any gym in my entire life.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? i never use an alarm clock. hinihintay ko lage na may gumising sa ken.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? baileys irish cream?!
2. Meat eaters: yes meat.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? uhm... half a bottle of tequila all to myself?!
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? no. I will never diet. NEVER
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? SPICY!!!
6. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"?

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 1
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family?) 1
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Only my boyfriend.. so maybe not.
4. Have you "done it"? ha?!
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? eyes... and abs.. yummy!
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? not in a million gazillion years
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? nope

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? NONE!!
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? nacho king?!
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? buy my mom a car and get married!
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? rich. when i am rich,,, i could be famous then!
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? i could make my life exciting with that BUCKS!
6. Have you ever stolen anything? uhm... i stole scissors
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Umm, Kazaa says 40... still not that much...

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? ive passed algebra!
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? i doubt if my parents are proud of me...
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? stability on all sorts.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? sometimes :-}
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill? nahh
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? sure did!
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? shared a cig with my stepbro

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? i want somebody else's car!
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? jing aka TONIC... coz she's just soo... damn.. cool.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? i'd like to be talena atfield
4. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? i was flat chested then... mukha akong lalake.
5. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? to be overly sensitive with other people's feelings. i feel numb.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? Umm... sure..
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Lust and Gluttony!

SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? roman catholic
2. What religion were you raised as? still a catholic
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human property, i guess..
4. Do you believe in magic? if it's believable.
5. What was the last promise you broke? i dont remember
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? couple of times
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? hinde.

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? nope... i never wanted anything in particular
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? Happiness and loooove!
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Sometimes... ^_^
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? nah.i plan to.
6. Do you gamble? depends

CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? gigs of pulpers and bantay bata 163
2. What causes have you given money or time to? bantay bata coin banks
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Nope
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? i dunno
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? already done that
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? i dont think so
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? listen and even cried wit them.

FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? lonliness and heights... i fuckin hate heights!
2. What did you do today that was really brave? nothingg!!
3. Who is your favorite super hero, and why? Sailor Moon!! she looks really stupid on that outfit.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? depends...
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? of the three, brains.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? several times
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? both, in different situations

JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? no
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? next question pls...
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? it depends. on the moral aspect, course i wont. but if it was for justice... hell yeah!
4. Which should be guaranteed legal: cocaine, marijuana, heroin? none of the above.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? i dont know dubya.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? i guess the monica lewinsky?! lolz!

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? umm... stuff?
2. Do you collect anything? poems, poster, cds, pictures, pulp mag... blah... blah... blah...
3. Are you addicted to anything? im addicted to... EATING!
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? no
5. What's you preferred method of paying for things? cash
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do: things...
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? sometimes

PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? his name is NO ONE.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? yeah
3. Do you take advice when it's given? i ask of it. it's kinda annoying sometimes.
4. What area are you wisest in? nothing
5. Do you drive defensively? i dunno how to change gears and still havent applied for a license.
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? duh?!
7. What did you learn today? that i should be... no, that psychological testing I is the pre-requisite to statistics! lolz!
Posted by doll_in_exile at 12:51 AM | 6 left the wing

June 5th, 2004

kunwari

kunwari,
pwede kame.

kunwari,
ako ang kasama niya.

kunwari,
ako ang sinusubuan niya ng ice cream.

kunwari,
sweet siya sa akin.

kunwari,
ako ang binubulungan niya ng i love you

kunwari,
ako ang katabi niya pagtulog.

kunwari,
ako ang laman ng panaginip niya.

kunwari,
ako ang hinahatid niya pauwi.

kunwari,
ako ang inaalayan niya ng kanta niya.

kunwari,
ako ang binibigyan niya ng tula.

kunwari,
ako ang nag-aalaga sa kanya pag may sakit siya.

kunwari,
ako ang tinatawag niya pag nananaginip siya.

kunwari,
ako ang mahal niya...

ang sakit di ba?
kasi lahat kunwari lang pala..


aww. that hurt.
Posted by doll_in_exile at 11:31 PM | 4 left the wing

June 4th, 2004

20 years, 20 hair strands



yan. that's 20 birthday cakes for me. ill be turning 20 this 12th. and i still havent got any MONEY to spend. im not expecting people to remember and give me gifts but, I WANT THEM TO BE FUCKEN DRUNK IN MY BORNDAY! im still feeling gloomy lalo na pag naaalala ko na bente nako. i can't consider myself as a TEENAGER anymore... (only in times if i want to.) and also in a years time, im supposed (SUPPOSED) to be graduating na. AND ILL BE ONE OF THOSE BUMS IN THE SOCIETY. well,, ill be a bum for a year (tagal no?) PAPAKASAYA MUNA AKO AT GAGAWIN KO LAHAT NG GUSTO KO LIKE:

1. magdagdag ng pierce sa gitna ng ilong, sa kilay at palakihin yung tunnel ko

2. magpatattoo (sa likod na lang siguro para di kita)

3. mag-aral ng photography, culinary arts at webpage design

4. ituloy-tuloy yung pag-aaral ng drums (konte pa REN ang alam ko hanggang ngayon)

5. form a melodic metal band with my beau

6. dye my hair bloody red

7. cut my hair really short or get a really wacky perm.

madame pa... i want to be fulfilled before ako magtrabaho. gusto ko ng magseryoso sa buhay ko. pero, pag nagtrabaho ako, ID STILL KEEP MY TONGUE PIERCING and TATTOO.. ehehe..

gusto kong uminom sa bornday ko. MAY MAGPAPAINOM KAYA SA KIN? wala akong pera e..

Currently feeling: gloomy
Posted by doll_in_exile at 07:04 PM | 8 left the wing

June 3rd, 2004

being sadako is mainstream!

<<< see that? my user pic?


HASH(0x8a6c848)
You're Sadako of Ring!


Which Beautiful Asian Horror Ghost are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


font color="DOLLinEXILE"> DOLLinEXILE
Posted by doll_in_exile at 12:36 AM | the phoenix rise

June 2nd, 2004

our story part 2

eto na ang katuloy… para sa mga nagbasa nitu… na ang comment ay parang berks daw ang love story.

the hungry bunch came and hugged me with their wet bodies. of course, they wanted me to enjoy too so they urged me to go swimming and splashed me with water. it was only my first day anyways. the hell i care if they swim with bloody water! basta, i’m going to what i paid for. they threw me into the water and james kinda stepped on my right foot. i don’t remember exactly how it happened but i sprained a toe. after a couple of laps & a foot aching badly, i decided to call it quits. i was really cranky because of
1. my foot
2. my period
i guess paolo sensed something was wrong with me. nice! he bought me, balot & jenny a cup of ice cream. enough to cool my flaming head down. then after, inom na! shots of tequila and packs of cigs have passed, we packed our things up at 4. while we were waiting for our ride home, we went out for a game of pool in a nearby billiard hall. still cranky, i never spoke to anyone except for the stick of malboro lights gold in my mouth. up until the van arrived, i was dead silent. we still kept our places in the van, so paolo still got to sit beside me. all the people in the van was asleep excluding me, paolo and of course, the driver. i guess paolo was afraid that i might get mad at him, again, if he slept on me. of course , i wont. in fact, i let him sleep on my lap pa. i was up the whole trip & to think i never slept for 3 days straight already. i guess i was still stuck thinking about that heartbreak, the night he said iloveyou to me, & how he was so patient after all the treatment i gave him. we arrived at balot’s place after a two-hour drive from bulacan. i decided to sleep for a while & head home. i rested my foot and sat on the sofa while others hit the sacks. paolo went down to ask me, “di ka pa ba magpapahinga?” “mamaya na.” “halika na.” “sige, susunod na ko.” i got up, and he was trying to help by holding my elbows but i rushed to the stairs as if i haven’t gotten a sprain. i was really, really harsh to him that day. i think, i was confused and at the same time afraid of taking a step further with him. for the first time in 3 days, i closed my eyes and slept. it was so nice to sleep thinking that someone in that room loves you. for that thought, i overslept and woke up the next day. i was the last person who got up & heard the people laughing. and when they saw me coming down the stairs, they instantly turned silent. then i knew, they were talking about me. after breakfast, i asked james if he could take me home. “wag kang hihindi. ikaw ang nakapilay sa kin.” i was waiting for an answer for about 5 minutes when paolo said, “ako na lang ang maghahatid say o, tutal, malapit lang naman bahay ko sa inyo e.he gave me an offer i could not refuse. *kilig* i was really nervous going home because
1. i was away for 3 days & only asked for 2.
2. my foot was sprained.
3. ill be knockin at our door at 8 am with a guy beside me.
having a mother who’s in her 50’s would mean that there would be a lot of ranting in store for me. i better get ready. when i entered our door, my mom said, “o, umuwi ka pa.” then suddenly somebody said, “good morning po.” when my mom turned around, he saw a guy at my back. now, i see her face turning tomato red. paolo then said, “uuwi na rin po ako.” damn. i didn’t get to introduce him to my mom. as afternoon came, my mom let me come with her to the mall. then out of nowhere she asked who was the i was with when i arrived home “si paolo yun. pinsan ni alvin.” “hoo… nililigawan ka na nun no? gwapo a.” whew. a sigh of relief. at least he got his first pogi point from my mom which is very significant. after 2 days, we were about to see each other again. he came to my house unexpectedly at 8 am and god! he saw mt uncombed hair, oily face, & rocks of “morning glories” in my eyes. what a horrifying sight! well at least that early, i would know if he’s only after the looks. i thought we were going to meet at balot’s place na lang. when we arrived, i sat beside james so that he could not sit beside me. sometimes i think that something’s terribly wrong with me. normal people would die and sell their souls to the devil himself just to sit next to their crushes. i was an exception. i would do anything even sell my precious shoe (that’s all i have to offer, and no, i wouldn’t sell my soul to the devil.) just to spare myself from the humiliation that sitting beside him would bring. back to the story, i was used to wash dishes in other people’s houses especially if it was my friends’. (my friends to-be are gonna be so lucky to have me. teehee!) i did the dishes and paolo went beside me to help. imagine! a guy doin’ the dishes wholeheartedly? at some point, i thought he was just trying to be nice because he was courting me. but when i watched him do it, “naghuhugas talaga ako sa amin, may carinderia kame e.” aww… that was nice. that was the last time i saw him for the week. we were constantly talking on the phone, day in, day out. still with other friends on the line. 3 way pa rin. april 5, 2001. i was really decided to give that yes to him. i called all my friends to ask for help. sabe nila, “mukhang tanga to. bayaan mo siya.” “sira! gusto ko na nga maging boyfriend e.” but still a day passed. i said to myself, 6 or sais, would be a nice number. we started to talk at 10. he was at alvin’s place at that time. i talked to my friend jenny to say the exact thing to paolo. “pat, tatanong ko lang sana kung kelan mo ko sasagutin. di naman kita minamadali. gusto ko lang malaman kung kelan.” he said the exact same thing to me at 11:30. and i said, “pano kung sabihen ko sa yong ngayun na?” i looked at my clock and it said, 12:04. it was april 7. all that he mustered to tell was, “talaga? sandali lang.” alvin picked up the phone and i said, “ano nangyari dun?” “wala. uminom ng tubig at nagtatawa dun sa kusina.” i put the receiver down at 12:30 and was still ashamed to say i love you but i gathered all my strength anyways.

for 3 months we were together. but being with him was like getting up, going to school, talking to him and sleep. i guess i got too tired of that routine so at august 27, i broke up with him. nilasing ko ang sarili ko para lang masabi sa kanya yun. but he accepted my decision with no grudges. he still took me home after. i cant understand why i was crying when it was me who wanted it all to happen. he was so nice, sincere and loving but i let my feelings of boredom took over me. monday, when i was getting ready for school. he knocked at our door. i wanted to break down & cry. i talked to him and said, “o bat sinundo mo pa ako? di naman kita inubliga a.” “nakapangako kase ako sa auntie at nanay mo na ihahatid at susunduin kita e.” oh crap. we were silent on the tricycle. he still took me home after. for the past 3 days, i was thinking. i was crying because i loved him. nainip lang ako. so wednesday, august 30, nagpainom ako. then i reconciled with him. at first he didn’t want to go with us at daniel’s place but he already knew what was happening when almost all of my friends asked him to go. we reconciled while sitting at the stairs and hugged each other. he said to me, “alam mo kung di ka bumalik sa akin, di na ako talagang magseseryoso sa babae. ilang relasyon na dumaan sa akin, lahat sila minahal ko pero niloko lang nila ako. kaya salamat sa yo. iloveyou.

4 years have passed… we still have those petty fights but still, we still managed to hold on to each other and accept each others faults. i love him. and i cant describe how good it feels to have him.

Currently listening to: EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES by BABYFACE
Currently feeling: lovey dovey
Posted by doll_in_exile at 02:48 PM as a favorite post | 8 left the wing

June 1st, 2004

our story

talk about being in love... read on...

it was march 3, 2001. we were both studying at the same school but barely knew each other. i was at home coz we were preparing stuff for my bro’s birthday. The next door neighbor is a band studio where my barkada used to play before. I went to the band studio because they have this practice thingie goin’ on. I was not quite acquainted with some of the band members except for alvin & james who really are my barkadas. As for danilo & mickey, I only knew them by names. There’s this guy whom they call “flip” caught my eye. He’s alvin’s cousin. Well, not literally because all throughout the hour and a half of their so-called “jam” it never occurred to me that I looked at him. I guess for a girl who studied in an all-girls institution, having boys around will somewhat mean new prospects or a big pain stickin’ a girl’s ass. But I never understood why I had this ultimate feeling of shyness with him around. I ignored him coz he don’t look like he’s interesting at all and I assured myself that he’s just one of those people that you meet then forget. Or so I thought…
the next week, monday, my blood sis, rayah told me a certain guy named paolo which I later found out was alvin’s cousin. (at that time, rayah and alvin were an item.) rayah had a crush on him which made me more curious of who this person is because she’s quite picky. (kay alvin nga lang siya sumablay. joke!) when daniel (the heartthrob and also my seatmate… inggit!) showed me their picture which included him, I automatically knew why rayah had this thump thump feeling in her heart whenever she sees him. he is gwapo! And he seems nice too.

At the succeeding days, I spent the entire day drooling over their picture and staring at him whenever he pass by as if I only went to school for that purpose. It was to my advantage that alvin was a close friend. So, I started asking things about him. alvin asked me if I liked him. I had no choice but to tell (or should I say, I really wanted to tell) before “flip”, I had my first major heartbreak. *sigh* anyways, as for his part, he had this long time crush on rayah. The funny thing is, he had a crush on everyone else except me! (what a player!) But he said, he felt something weird when he first saw me, but also ignored it. Coincidence? Nah. He also “said” that I had this something in me which sets me out from the rest. Fine. He later confessed to his cousin that he liked me, but was afraid of being rejected coz he said, I looked like I was a pro on dumping guys. (if he only knew that I never *ever* had a boyfriend… I wanted him to be my first) well everybody is afraid of rejection. Who isn’t? at a slip of a tongue (I guess he really meant to tell) Alvin revealed my secret. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he will later on know about it because,
1. they’re cousins
2. Alvin cant keep mum on those kind of things.
The exact word that he said was, “wag kang mag-alala. Crush ka rin naman nun e.” oh great.

From then on, all the best things happened. I sometimes ask Alvin to put me in a 3-way conversation with him, and ask questions about me & girls. It really got me excited. I look forward to everyday that I would listen to his voice and swoon. i don’t know if he’s excited talking about me but I’m sure, he’s also having the time of his life. Our first solo talk was about 3 hours. My dinner was a slice of pizza and barely touched it. It was really nice talking to him, knowing his life, his past, how he grew up and everything. After I put the down the receiver at 12, my smiles were endless. I slept with a really *big* smile on my face. The morning after, I saw him. We looked into each other’s eyes as if we already knew what those looks meant. But as days pass, and knowing him a bit more, I grew shy to talk or even greet him. And so did he. The vacation’s fast approaching so my friends planned an outing. March 31, 2001. we planned on sleeping at balot’s place because at the crack of dawn, we needed to have our stuffs prepared. At that night, we bought each a bottle of absolut vodka & jose cuervo. Alvin, paolo, and I were the only ones who spent the night at balot’s place. Earlier that night, my stomach ached really bad. So did he. We both suffer from ulcer. (aww… even in sickness) so we passed out on the drinking session. The two didn’t do anything but to tease us the whole night. When balot tried a shot of that absolut, she was already drunk! And the proof: she bit alvin’s right toe! They also had this silly dance to the tune of so slow by the freestyle. When the two drunk and eventually slept, paolo asked if he could sit beside me. “ok lang” it was a long moment of silence for the both of us when he suddenly cracked: “hindi ka ba matutulog?” “hindi. Aantayin ko na lang mag-alas-tres malapit na rin naman” “may sasabihin ako sa yo pero wag kang magagalit……. Iloveyou.” (by now, I could hear the drunk people chuckling) “galit ka ba?” “bakit naman ako magagalit? At chaka, wala naman akong dapat ikagalit sa sinabi mo e.” “wala lang. baka kasi hindi mo nagustuhan yung mga sinabi ko. Hindi ka nab a talaga matutulog?” “hindi na.” (I nearly smoked the entire pack of malboro lights gold because im so nervous!) “o sige. Di na nga rin ako matutulog baka kasi sabihin mo, tinutulugan kita.” Then 2:00 came. Then 2:30. shit! Im still awake! Not a bit of drowsiness. Then it’s 3:00 & I woke them up. I was sort of groggy (I don’t know why) by the time I took a bath. As the early bird that I am, I packed my things and went straight ahead to our hired vehicle. Of course I had a hidden motive as to why I was an “early bird”. I want to be the first one to get the most wanted place in the vehicle, the back seat. (it was a van, by the way.) to my surprise, everybody was avoiding the backseat like it has a plague or something. And they were teasing paolo to sit beside me. Of course, he was like, “wag tol, nakakahiya.” But I know deep inside, all he wanted was to jump in the backseat and sit beside me the whole day. In the long run, he still sat beside me. I sat quiet the whole trip with that ridiculous look on my face. (I was thinking and my brains nearing to a blow) when we arrived at the resort, I wasn’t quite feeling well. When I was about to change, damn! My period! I was forced to stay in the cottage and smell like a grilled pork barbeque while they were getting wet and enjoying themselves. Then there came paolo and offered to help. I was too bummed out that I sent him a way… in a harsh kind of way. 5 minutes after….

Wahoo! Bitin no? antay lang to be continued…

Currently listening to: COMALIES by LACUNA COIL
Currently feeling: teary eyed
Posted by doll_in_exile at 11:56 PM as a favorite post | the phoenix rise

May 30th, 2004

favorite ko ang violet :~

lavender, purple, at fucshia,
lahat sila ay shades ng lila.
yun nga lang, violet ang pinakapaborito ko.
sa lahat ng violet, fush--
fuch--
fuschia ang pinakaayaw ko.
bukod sa di ko alam ang eksaktong kulay,
mahirap pa itong ibaybay.
paborito ko talaga ang violet.
sa katunayan,
may violet akong alkansya.
ngunit walang lugar ang barya para sa kanya.
may violet akong bag.
pero dahil sa di ko ito nilalabhan,
libagin na siya kung tingnan.
may violet akong pangkulay sa kuko.
di ko na ginagamit kasi hindi na uso.
black na yata ang kuko ko ngayon.
AT SINO BA NAMAN KASI ANG MAY SABI NA PAMPALAMBOT NG CUTIX ANG ACETONE?
may violet din akong eyeshadow.
maitim ako kaya hindi bagay sa akin.
ayoko yatang magmukhang katulong noh?
may violet akong kandila.
amoy lavender pa.
di ko sinisindihan kase,
tetano sa ilong ang amoy ng...
may violet akong ballpenS
may s dahil marami
milky at glittery ang aking ballpenS,
sa sobrang aliw, ayoko ng gamiten.
may violet din akong terno na bra't panty
kaso, na-arbor na ng aking bestfriend.
mahilig din akong kumain ng ube.
pero pag halo-halo na, di na rin.
tunaw na ang violet bago ko pa makain.
mahilig din ako sa talong.
pero pag torta na, ayoko na.
wala na ang balat niya. (na violet rin)
at sa hirap ng buhay ngayun,
isang manuel roxas lang lagi ang kaharap ko.
di ko gusto yun pero dahil violet siya,
sige na nga.
marami pa akong violet thingies.
kaso, uso sa third sex ang violet ngayun
kaya mula ulo hanggang paang attire,
tinalikuran, tinapon ko.
AYOKO YATANG MATAWAG NA BAKLA NO?!
Currently listening to: TIME AFTER TIME by... di ko alam e
Currently reading: TEN WOMAN WHO SHOOK THE WORLD pa ren
Currently feeling: violet-y
Posted by doll_in_exile at 01:40 AM | 1 left the wing

ang pinili :(

bakit ang mga mata mo ang siyang pinili nyang tignan?
bakit ang mga kamay mo ang siyang pinili nyang hawakan?
bakit ang mga labi mo ang siyang pinili nyang halikan?
bakit ang mga luha mo ang siyang pinili nyang punasan?

kutis mong maputi, tulad ng sa ulap
(mabait naman ako a?)
buhok mong makintab, tulad ng sa pilak
(masipag naman ako a?)
labi mong malambot, tulad ng sa bulak
(maalaga naman ako a?)
mga katangiang di ko taglay, ang siya niya palang hanap.
(mabait naman talaga ako e...)

kaya pala...

ang mga mata ko'y may muta na,
ang mga kamay ko'y magaspang pa.
ang mga labi ko'y sugat-sugat na,
ang mga luha ko'y mapait pala.

yan ang tingin niya sa akin,
isang tetano sa kanyang paningin.
at ngayon alam ko na ang inaasam kong hari,
ay di pala ako ang PINILI...


ouch.

Currently listening to: COLLIDE by COG
Currently reading: TEN WOMAN WHO SHOOK THE WORLD by SYLVIA BROWNRIG
Currently feeling: sucky... for love
Posted by doll_in_exile at 12:31 AM as a favorite post | 4 left the wing

May 25th, 2004

5 a.m.

i stood there in the cold of the night,
trying to comprehend whats trapped in my brain.
the senseless abduction of feelings,
expelled me through the proper beings of my existence.
you passed out, yeah right...
you promised to come, i still wait.
abandoned poor soul, it learns...
ill never wonder how hard it'll be for the both of us,
lingered on to the fuckin memory of how it once was.
you never wore off.
my heart's screaming for the trouble,
my lacerated skin spoke up for my voice.
blurred visions in my eyes,
clouded by bloody tears.
a chaotic life ruled over me,
laughter intently vanished.
i was overly drowned in my own failure.
my manwhore,
arent you happy to see me?
pissed and cant do anything,
all you did was lie.
mushy lil' things disgust me, you know.
nothing but shadows of our past.
am i seeing things?
brutal mentality?
dig my grave down under.
bury the scene.
the ill thought of you leaving.
cut the shit.
for it's 5 a.m.
its payback time...



boy am i angry!

Currently listening to: ANGEL by FIONA APPLE
Currently reading: PED XING sa KM64
Currently feeling: breezy
Posted by doll_in_exile at 01:11 PM | the phoenix rise
« Newer | »